On love and hate

“He had not fallen in love with her on sight; he had simply been willing to fall in love. Instead he had hated her. No, hate was too much of a compliment; hate involved one’s emotions. He merely disliked her, coldly and critically. Never again would he be able to feel he had never really disliked anyone. He wondered why this distressed him so much – and found the answer; he was conscious of a loss of innocence far more absolute that if he could have sensually responded to her sensuality. But the distress, he intuitively knew, would not long survive the innocence, for a loss of sensibility follows a loss of innocence, at once a penalty and a compensation”

[Dodie Smith].

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